baby genius. (berlinchair) wrote in seven_shades,
baby genius.
berlinchair
seven_shades

life in sepia tones.



I sweat into my dirty clothes. The day is cool but I’m claustrophobic in my long-sleeved coverings. Law and Order is a constant stream in the background, a reminder that things get worse and there are some people more twisted than I. Dick Wolf, he’s a sick motherfucker to come up with that shit. Kiddie porn and murdered whores, men raped, women thrown from windows and children shooting children. That’s more twisted than you and I will ever be. You were here this morning, I can smell you over the sweat and rot. You were here but five minutes, you didn’t even have the decency to fuck or love me. Sometimes I think I’m too young for this, I shouldn’t look inside and see that gaping emptiness. Then I remember, I’m not young, not anymore. My thighs have known too much blood, my throat too many drinks. The truth comes from the mouths of babes, and the only babes I ever think of are the half-formed ones that poured from my cunt in tears of red. They made no sound, their mouths forever sealed shut. That’s your truth: you killed your sons, your daughters, you condemned them to never speak your shame. But me, you left me deader still. My heart is still there, strong and beating but you snatched away my liver so the poisons forever circle my veins. There is nothing to purify me. If I believed in heaven, I’d say you are going to hell but I believe in neither salvation nor damnation. No good and bad, no black and white. Just life in sepia tones and you with your blood-stained hands and smiling eyes.
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